End In Dreams

Anyone up for a robot apocalypse?

The past couple of nights I have had some strange and vivid dreams. I can't go into too much detail but they involved Universal Studios, sheep, mysterious test labs and a playful puppy. I don't know what it is. When I came in after my work meal / drinks on Friday I was apparently babbling about some sort of judgement. If some sort of time travelling prophet of the apocalypse came to warn me about a catastrophic day of judgement that only my actions could prevent then I am truly sorry. Actually I guess if that was the case then I owe everyone some sort of apology. But then again if we're all about to die a fiery death then there won't really be anyone around to blame me. I guess it all works out in the end.

Peace

Steve

Back To The Future: Ghosts of Christmas Past

In my recent Gallery column I bemoaned the lack of new Christmas movies. Here is exclusive proof that Doc Brown is back to remedy the situation with a new Christmas themed Back To The Future movie!

'Great Scott Rudolph! If I don't get this float up to 84 miles per hour we won't be able to make it back and save the baby Jesus McFly from the evil King Biff.'

Rumours of Jesus and the Virgin Mary making out appear to be awesome but unfounded.

Also I am on Twitter now and my id is steveolawrence. Follow me!

Peace

Steve

Past It

What is with all the blasts from the past in the last two days? COME ON! I'm twenty, I shouldn't be getting nostalgic already. I really need to finish that time machine and then go back to those days and be all 'hey this wasn't so great, maybe I romanticized things.' Either that or have a wacky Back To The Future style adventure. Dude! You're totally mackin on your mom. Hmmm a time travel sex comedy. I will pitch it to Jason Biggs. If, as usual, he doesn't reply I will see what Chris De Burgh thinks. He is sitting on the chair next to me playing Wii tennis and chugging from a carton of Cranberry juice. Chris De Burgh is crazy.

I am now working at HSBC. I would tell you what my job is but it is top secret. I also don't understand what the abbreviations mean.

Peace

Steve

Great Scott

I hear Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams have been cast as the leads in the film version of The Time Traveller's Wife. Rachel McAdams is super fine and if the film stays true to the novel there should be a number of sex scenes. There will also probably lots of nude Eric Bana and unlike the Hulk he won't have purple pants to cover his junk. The film isn't coming out for a while so I think you should read the book. Go on. You can come and see it with me and we can be all like 'it was good but it lacked the emotional sincerity of the novel.' You know you want to. PS - If it looks like I'm crying, I'm not, there's something in my eye.

The fact that I've mentioned Rachel McAdams means I can feel justified in linking to this.

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2005/chronic-narnia-p1.php

'I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling.'

Also I'm back in Lancaster now so pop round. We can get fucked up on energy drinks and choreograph a dance in honour of the moon gods.

Peace

Steve