Time To Play

Hey gang. Sorry for the prolonged absence but I have been working on a project that many of you are already privy to but is STILL very exciting! Just to keep you guys ticking over we have been doing a playlist exercise in Crew this week. Here are some of mine for your consideration...

Playlist of songs for Burns Night Party of songs that have the word Burn or some form of it in the title that actually have nothing to do with Burns Night (Note: This was a real playlist used at a Burns Night Party and it went down a storm!)

1. Burn – Usher
2. Burn Baby Burn – Ash
3. Burn Burn – Lost Prophets
4. Crash & Burn – Busted
5. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room – John Mayer
6. Burn It Up – R. Kelly
7. Crash & Burn – Savage Garden
8. Londons Burning – The Clash
9. Burn Away – The Foo Fighters
10. Burn The Bridges – Feeder
11. Burn One Down – Ben Harper

A Playlist that definitely won’t get you laid and will actually probably end any chance you ever had of getting some unless you’re really really really good looking or the girl you’re using it on is a complete sociopath or deaf (Not tested... yet)

1. Bitches Ain’t Shit (Cover) – Ben Folds
2. All I Want Is More – Reel Big Fish
3. Cold Hard Bitch – Jet
4. Break Your Heart – Barenaked Ladies
5. Sex In The Kitchen – R. Kelly
6. Cotton Eyed Joe – Rednex
7. La Bamba – Los Lobos
8. A Bitch Iz a Bitch – N.W.A
9. Kill You – Eminem
10. Wait (You Guys) – Bing Bong Brothers

A Playlist of songs that I have on my I-Tunes that I find either embarassing or just plain confusing or that my housemates mock and that I actually quite like

1. Space Cowboy – ‘N Sync (I actually have far too much ‘N Sync)
2. Gummi Bears Theme Song – Artist Unknown (Plays – 0. Where did this come from!?!)
3. You All Dat (Radio Mix) – Baha Men (Yes I have a Baha Men song that isn’t ‘Who Let The Dogs Out’)
4. My Humps – Black Eyed Peas (Used to intentionally antagonise neighbour in 1st Year)
5. Flip Reverse – Blazin Squad (I have done Blazin Squad Karaoke!)
6. Smile – Hanson (Why don’t I have Mmm Bop is the real question...)
7. American Bad Ass – Kid Rock (eww)
8. Liverpool Rap – Liverpool F.C (I come from Jamaica my name is John Barnes when I do my thing the crowd go bananas)
9. It’s All Gravy – Romeo Dunn & Christina Millian (Wherefore art thou Romeo Dunn?)
10. Lifted – The Lighthouse Family (I am in no way ashamed of this)

and finally so you don’t lose all respect for me, here are some recently played songs...

Recently Played

1. The Queen & I – Gym Class Heroes
2. Hide & Seek – Imogen Heep
3. Clark Gable – The Postal Service
4. Cheshire Cat Smile – Milburn
5. Your Hand In Mine – Explosions In The Sky
6. No Diggity (Cover) – Klaxons
7. The (After) Life Of The Party – Fall Out Boy
8. A – Barenaked Ladies
9. D.A.N.C.E – Justice
10. Good Night – Kanye West

Peace

Steve

AVPVSTE: Again

This week I have been all about watching movies. I have seen some excellent ones... Eagle vs Shark is a delightfully quirky comic treat, Hot Rod is destined to find an audience as the new Anchorman (It has my heroes The Lonely Island Boys starring) and Superbad is just awesome, I think I've been over how much I worship at the alter of Judd Apatow / Seth Rogen / Michael Cera. I have also seen a terrible movie, Alien vs Predator: Requiem. Now I could probably write a whole fucking thesis on the problems with this thing. I could try and write you a review but I don't think I have time to scratch the surface. Citing Wikipedia...

'Primary criticisms included a weak script (particularly the human storyline), too many homages to the previous films, cardboard characters, terrible pacing, its gratuitous scenes involving pregnant women's and children's deaths, and the unintelligible fight sequences between the Predator, the Aliens and the Predalien (the last being attributed to poor lighting).'

That isn't even mentioning the clearly tacked on irrelevant and confusing sequel baiting ending. Don't ask me what the fuck was going on there. You could ask those responsible but I doubt even they now. It's probably improv. The sad thing is I actually liked it better than the first one.

CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!

If you want something good involving Alien and Predator hed to this here comic where Alien and Predator are comically mismatched roommates. I must warn you, Hi-jinks ensue!!!

Alien Loves Predator

Peace

Steve

Partnering Up.com

This may shock you but I don't actually make any money from this blog. That's right, I toil away for hours crafting these words into truth bombs fit for your consumption and no one gives me any cash monies. WELL NOT ANYMORE! No, I'm not going to start charging you fine people (Though if you see me on the street and want to give me cash I'm not going to object), instead I have though outside the box. I have rented out the blog. It works thusly, a Company gives me money and they get a whole post to do whatever they want with literally reaching the tens of people who read my blog every day. Amazing huh? Now not only do you get to read my sharp and witty insight but you also get to hear about products and services you might like. The first company is a dating website called Partnering Up.com. They have chosen to present a sample profile and hey if you want some of this guy then get involved.....

Partnering Up Personal Ad

Nubile young Mexican currently residing in Spain seeks special companion (preferebly female but I'm not that picky) for hot sex maybe more? Must have low self esteem and interest in go-karting, napping, watching Coronation Street without a shirt on, funny noises, water sports (the sex thing) and romantic walks through industrial estates. STD testing required (I have thrush). NO UGOS!

Wow, he sounds like a winner, I hope he has his 'beating them off with a stick' stick handing.

Peace

Steve

Swanky

Essay writing out the way, now I can get back to the writing where the money is!

'P.S I Love You'

Not a film I have seen. One of the advantages of being single is that you don't get dragged to terrible chick flicks. Luckily my housemate Paul is not single and he was able to give me the run down... He did not like what he saw. Rotten Tomatoes gives it a Freshness rating of 20%. I think my favourite review is from the L.A Times

'You could go see P.S. I Love You, or you could hit yourself on the head with a meat mallet.'

I'm not even sure what a meat mallet is!

Anyway, why am I writing about a film I haven't seen? Surely I shouldn't be judging it on word of mouth and critical review? Well, fuck you this is my blog and I'll judge whatever I like! But here I'm not. It's probably shit, I don't want to have to find out. Instead I am here to offer some thoughts on the premise. The film is about a recently widowed woman who receives a series of love letters sent by her recently deceased husband helping her to celebrate their love and move on with her life. Her husband isn't dead when he sends the letters (That would be cool) but instead he gets someone else to send them on. It is sentimental and sappy and according to a number of reviews walks a confusing line between outright comedy and extremely serious comedy. Also it is unrealistic....

I'm a Romantic, I frickin loved Amelie but I really can't stomach this. How about this for a premise...

A recently widowed woman is trying to move on from her husband's death. This is when she starts to receive letters he wrote to her before his death. These letters insist she doesn't start dating other guys and that she remain in a perpetual state of mourning for the rest of her life. She wants to start dating a startlingly handsome Vet she met at a charity walk for Victims of Boat Related Deaths (Her husband died after being hit by a yacht) but her husband's cruel and some what threatening notes from beyond the grave prevent her from doing so. It'd be a laugh riot and a hell of a lot more realistic! And if you don't like that take out the vet guy. Replace him with her dead husband's best friend. Steve (It's as good a name as any), an ex heroin junkie cat trainer, was employed by the husband before his death to send the letters but as he does so he falls in love with the sexy grieving heroine (She wears black for most of the film so she always looks trim). Steve is left with the choice, betray his best friend by banging his vulnerable widow or carry on making her miserable with the psycho jealous letters. That is Oscar winning drama right there.

What do you think Hollywood?

Peace

Steve

P.S - I Love You

Egging Me On...

Have you seen the new advert for the Egg card? The gist of it is that getting an Egg card is an extremely intelligent thing to do. It also states that in the laws of the universe smart and stupid must be balanced out. Therefore every time someone does something smart like get an Egg card something stupid must happen.

This doesn't make me want to get an Egg card. I don't know much about what it does or anything, that doesn't matter to me. What I'm now thinking is that if I choose to get an Egg card I am guaranteeing something stupid is going to happen. OK, something stupid could be as simple as SAMTANNAS publishing a nude calendar or Jose mackin on some chick who turns out to be a dude BUT it could also be something really really bad like someone stupidly launching a Nuclear missile and plunging the world into war or a Movie executive agreeing to finance a sequel to Norbit.

What I'm saying is don't take the risk kids... Don't get an Egg card!

Peace

Steve

Light Up

There are a number of good things about having a soap box. First of all it makes you taller than people, that is good because tall people are more trustworthy. Second of all you're probably going to have a whole heap of soaps left over from the box. Third of all you get to spread word about stuff that you like and I like Friday Night Lights.

Friday Night Lights is a great movie. The best American Football movie I've ever seen. Maybe the best sports movie of all time. Trust me, I've seen more than a few sports movies. There was a baseball one called 'Summer Catch' starring Freddie Prinze Jnr the other night, it was terrible. Back on topic, Friday Night Lights is a really great movie based on the true story of a high school football team triumphing against the odds in the small town of Dillon where Football is everything. So first of all go and see that if you haven't.

Now great movies rarely transfer to great television shows. Buffy The Vampire Slayer was a sucky movie before it became a TV hit. Bill & Ted and Back to the Future were both great movies before spawning terrible cartoons devoid of any the charms of the originals. Name me a great movie that span off into a great TV show. I dare you. Friday Night Lights bucks the trend.

It's quite an accomplishment. The movie has the original book to base itself on and only 2 hours running time to fill. From nothing but the inspiration of the book, the movie and the real life Dillon Panthers the show has to produce a full season's worth of story-lines. I'm only 8 episodes in and not a single one has disappointed. The writing, the production, the acting; all of the very highest quality. In a sentence it is the OC meets every decent sports movie of all time. CLEAR EYES, FULL HEART, CAN'T LOSE.

Go watch it or you're just hurting yourself.

Peace

Steve

Geek Pie

I've mentioned it before but I'll mention it again, I like lists. I like making lists, I like reading lists and I really like ticking things off lists. There is a website that caters for people like me.
Cracked
Jam filled with useful lists and useful facts. I think you'll enjoy it. One list that has recently caught my eye is their 8 Celebrities You Didn't Know Were Geeks.
Now being a geek myself (Seth Cohen Template) I actually did know some of these people were geeks yet still the article warms my heart. Doesn't it make you smile to think He-Man has a degree in chemical engineering? Doesn't it make you think that maybe you might sort of have a chance with Natalie Portman? (In reality you are now probably BOTH not good looking and not intelligent enough to stand a chance)
It doesn't mention it in the article but bad ass mofo Kevin Grevioux as well as banging Kate Beckinsale on a regular basis also writes some pretty kick ass comics. I think he is my new hero.
Some other celebrities you might not now are geeks include avid comic collectors Samuel L. Jackson and Nicholas Cage. (He stole his name from a damn comic character)

SO NOW YOU KNOW!

Peace

Steve