Shy Ronnie FX

Rihanna & Shy Ronnie from Mathieu Carratier on Vimeo.

Back after a massive weekend of hardcore Lancaster korfing (It's not a sex thing. Click on the link if you don't know what I mean). It was weird being back after such a long time away. I think I had a little tear in my eye when I was sitting on the bus. Depressingly the majority of the current influx of freshers were 13 when I started my degree. Definitely starting to feel a bit old. I think I fooled them into thinking I was cool by constantly talking about the Tinie Tempahs and Flo-Rida. We were staying with the man, the myth, the legend - George Lincoln and he reminded me of the above video. I kind of think this is what Rihanna would be like in person. Happy Sunday everyone. Back next week with build up to Halloween and horror films!

Peace,

Steve

Fear of Vaginas

There's plenty of talk on the national scale about cuts and deficits. Sadly we here in Jersey are not immune to this kind of thing. One of the big talking points here is a massive reduction in subsidies to private schools. I'm not going to weigh in on the debate here in too serious a matter. Frankly Jersey politicians make British politicians look like upstanding citizens with common sense and vision. What I am going to respond to is an article in tonight's Jersey Evening Post. The good folks at our local paper have sought out a variety of opinions on the matter including asking a sixth form boy educated in public school for his views. As it turns out his views are moronic.

His main argument is that not only did he go to public school and turn out alright (You're a teenager mate. You haven't turned out anything yet.) but that because he went to a mixed sex school he is comfortable with the other sex. Of course if you go to an all male public school and speak to a girl you'll either cry, wee yourself, spunk in your pants or do a messy mixture of all three. He's just wrong and dangerously so. Is there really such a thing as a teenage boy (public or private school, same or mixed sex) who is truly comfortable with the other sex? I think from the Inbetweeners alone we can probably answer that as a big no. I'm twenty three and I've had a girlfriend for nearly three years and even I'm not completely comfortable with the other sex. I doubt any man ever reaches this point. I don't blame the kid writing the article for doing this but surely the editor could have coaxed something a little more interesting rather than boring cliches and undoubted inaccuracies.

The less mature response - If you want to know how guys from same sex schools relate to women then just ask your Mum.

Join us next time for hopefully less vitriolic attacks on teenagers and if you did make it to The Ritz in Brixton tonight please let me know what you think!

Peace,

Steve

Old Dogs, New Tricks

So as I mentioned yesterday, Saturday night I was out watching the X-Factor cringing as the starlets had their fistful of dreams crushed one by one. My close personal friend Jose Antonio Franco stopped on his way out to the Birthday party of a former Liquid cage dancer where he knew no one apart from the Birthday boy himself. And with him he had a story. To be precise he had this story...

Reading to dogs scheme piloted in two Kent schools 

Or at least he had his version of this story. It's quite a weird story as it is. Children reading to dogs in two schools to help them build confidence. Jose's version was a lot stranger. 

Jose Franco on Educational Reform

Dogs are to be introduced to EVERY school as teaching assistants to help children read. Dogs have been chosen as opposed to cats, goldfish or any other animal because they are non judgmental. Having them there stops the children getting stressed and helps reduce blood pressure. They won't be taking any other classes. 

There are many issues here. Even with the real pilot scheme. I'll start with the most baffling and move on from there. 

- Is there a problem with high blood pressure amongst Britain's children? Are dogs the best way to combat high blood pressure? 

- How will teachers know the kids are actually reading? If I was placed with a dog I would just stroke it and rub its belly. It's not going to tell on me. You can bring a supervisor in but then that defeats the object. Also, what if the child is terrified of dogs. If anything this could destroy confidence and raise blood pressure. 

- How will schools afford a dog in every class and how do they make sure they get non judgmental dogs? Do they get the kids to bring in their dogs from home? What if these dogs are judgmental of children who aren't their owners? I can say for sure my cat is very judgmental. 

- Will we see more instances of children being mauled by Pitbulls (not the Hip Hop sensation) for mispronouncing a word? Are we going to teach these dogs to read first? And what if this gives them high blood pressure? The logical conclusion to this is millions spent on hiring other non judgmental animals (sheep maybe?) to listen to trainee teacher dogs read. Is that a world you want to live in? 

So that's pretty much what's happening with education right now. Thank God I escaped whilst I still could.

Thanks for reading friends. Be sure to check back the rest of the week as we build up to something HUGE coming up on Sunday at 6pm. Put it in your Diaries. 

Peace,

Steve