Thursday, 31 July 2008
No Fat Chicks?
Jersey has been in the news over the past couple of days and for once it's nothing to do with child abuse. No this time it's still about abuse but abuse of a far more serious kind... Abuse of fat people. If you haven't heard about it yet, check the story out here->
Jersey Club Tells Fat Women To Go Home
Up to date now? Good, let's continue. After initially defending his decision and then backpeddling and apologising club owner Martin Sayers now claims his judgement was clouded by his emotion over members of his friends and family he has lost to obesity related problems... It's all so clear now, Martin isn't some sort of discriminator, he is a crusader. Some might call him a hero. His story is the stuff Hollywood legend is made of, his story is Oscar worthy, his story has given me an idea...
ONE MAN SPENT HIS LIFE BATTLING WEIGHT PROBLEMS
NOT JUST HIS OWN, BUT THOSE OF THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM
''Why Mummy why? Why won't you stop eating?''
''I love you Helen but you're eating yourself into an early grave!''
''Mr Sayers. I'm sorry but your Dog has Diabeties.''
FINALLY PUSHED TO THE LIMIT
HE'S TAKING HIS FIGHT TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC
''Go and lose some weight before you can come in – fat people are bad for business.''
''But we just want to drink and dance and have some fun.''
''YOU SHALL NOT PASS!''
FROM THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT YOU 'COWBOYS & GIRLS' AND 'DANCING QUEEN: THE SAM TANNAHILL STORY'
A STORY OF ONE MAN FIGHTING FOR THE SURVIVAL OF THE HUMAN RACE IN A WORLD THAT DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HIM.
NO FAT CHICKS
So whaddya think? Rejected titles include 'Are you Havana Laugh?' and 'Sayers Ain't So'. I was thinking of casting Vin Diesel as Martin Sayers and Kate Winslet as love interest and rival Helen Hunter. Also I'm pretty sure Eddie Murphy will insist on putting on his fat suit and playing all the fat people in the film as soon as he gets wind of this. A guaranteed Box Office Hit, I've always thought Vin deserved a statue.
PS - The Fortress of Steveitude does not discriminate based on appearance... We do however discriminate based on personality.