Tuesday, 29 May 2007

Rice Rice Baby

I just had a bowl of Ricicles and it has got me thinking. Why do people ever buy Rice Krispies instead of Ricicles. What is the point? Maybe if they had a better toy but more often than not they have the same toy. Rice Krispies are just a boring and less tasty Ricicles. Also they have three weird dwarves on the box instead of a kick ass space ranger action hero. The only reason I can think of for buying Rice Krispies ahead of Ricicles is if someone has no taste buds and buys cereal on the basis of how it sounds. But then why not listen to a Chris De Burgh CD whilst having breakfast?

Next time you see me I might have less hair.

Whatever happened to OPM? You remember 'Heaven is a Halfpipe' and if your anything like me 'El Capitan'. Looking at their Wikipedia entry I don't think they're going to back in the mainstream any time soon. How sad.



Sunday, 27 May 2007

Brothels, Bricks and Religion

So the week of importance is over and now the month of not doing very much can begin. The exams went pretty darn good although the Champions League final obviously didn't. I really get a kick out of writing about William Blake under restricted time conditions. I also managed to write about incest in both exams, can any of you people doing science degrees say that? Can you? CAN YOU?

Cuba is good on a friday night. Lots of tasty Hip Hop / Rap and £1 bottles. Finally a real challenger in the Cartmel Soccer AM Dance Off has emerged. Bring it on Thommo.

Shipwrecked has been strung out for another week. So many mixed emotions. I want to know who wins, I want the Tigers to win but I don't want it to end. Lianne, Naomi, Francesca... all you ridiculously good looking girls in bikinis, I will miss you. SO MUCH. Maybe I will apply to be on in 2009. I hope its still going then. I think I'd be an excellent Shipwrecker. I tan amazingly (You've seen it) and I have survival skills that would make Ray Mears blush.

Last night we watched Children Of Men. Amazing film. The word I would use is relevant. Totally political to the max.

There is not much going on this week. I will most likely be sitting in the garden in my green chair. I have a spare if anyone wants to come catch some rays and discuss my interests.



Sunday, 20 May 2007

She's Screwed

After telling everyone not to listen to my betting tips I somehow managed to win the princely sum of eight pounds. What? With none of my scorers playing, nil-nil seemed the only sensible option. I think I'll convert it into Jersey pounds and buy a boat. Either that or the rights to Fergie's London Bridge so I can release my Wayne Bridge re-working of the song.

The new Cribs album is out tomorrow. Not that I've already listened to it loads of times (Wink Wink) but If I was you I would definitely go out and buy at least one copy. Maybe two.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of a massively important week. Two exams and a Champions League final. I'm not really feeling tense. If anything my mind is weighed down with other deeper thoughts. (Like what I would look like if I was a girl) Still, by Friday I will be ready to party on down. My reduced alcohol tolerance levels will probably result in said partying turning into quite the drunken farce. I look forward to it.

Jason X was on last night? Did you see it? Invincible serial killer-in space-in the future. I have the poster in our spare room at home. Also can you believe there were FIVE novelizations of this film. FIVE!!!

Does anyone want a semi African child for a week? We have one spare. If you like watching Shrek repeatedly then you're what we're looking for!



Saturday, 19 May 2007

I'm A Realist and I'm A Romantic

Kate Nash - Foundations on Jools Holland, she is the female Jamie T. Really good. We were watching for The Cribs though, WAKEFIELD. Did you know (This is true, apparently) that at one time the three Jarman brothers were responsible for Napkin production for the entire United Kingdom.

Mick Hucknall is a ginger twat. The Happy Mondays aren't very good either. They didn't make it onto Jools though.

FA Cup Final Tomorrow. Every prediction I have made so far has involved a player who is out due to injury. Do not listen to my betting tips. I'm going to go against the grain and suggest a Chelsea victory. Ergo they are doomed to defeat. Put some money on John O'Shea for the first goal.



Thursday, 17 May 2007

Dog Day

Craig from Hollyoaks has really been doing his utmost to distract people's attention from Jermain Pennant's absence with some of the worst acting that the program (with its distinguised history of terrible terrible acting) has ever seen. The sit up and stare after his man tangle was just masterful. The angry snarly bit after that was also mighty impressive, he was going for angry, I know it. Also this week Claire has gone abortion crazy. Her sheer enthusiasm with Louise has to make you wonder why she didn't get the coat hanger out herself.

I am really starting to enjoy living in the library. The Lusu shop is nearby to provide ice cream sustenance, I get to write sentences that make me feel real smart and I'm guaranteed to see Adam Hargreaves on his daily library constitutional.

Today has been a day for Taco related failure. I thought I had Tacos in the cupboard but they were just Nachos. I went to Spar to try and get some Tacos, I came back with Fajitas. The fajitas were good though.

The gypsys are leaving. Goodbye you blood sucking fiends.

In light of Jose Mourinho's arrest we have been dogafying footballer's names. Didier Dogba and John Terrier. To a lesser extent Steve Puppy (You remember Steve Guppy right!?) You got any better?



PS - If the photo is not the greatest thing you have ever seen then you have lived a far richer life than I.

Tuesday, 15 May 2007

Jermaine Pennant

Sonny Valentine the beloved Hollyoaks character played by beloved Liverpool winger Jermain Pennant has been fired from the show for his apparent lateness. It is truly a sad day for university students all over the land. Let's remember the good times; him and Justin with their wacky get rich quick schemes, his queer bashing and his most recent scenes of a sexual nature with the least attractive of the McQueen sisters. I just wish he could have had the send off he deserved. Going to Dorset is not an exciting way to leave a soap. They should have just said Warren killed him. Jermaine you will be missed.

The gypsies have arrived on Lancaster Campus Rugby Pitches. I shit you not.

Lots going on at the moment. Most of you have probably heard the mental Liberation Day story by now! Revision must take precedent.



Sunday, 6 May 2007

Jermaine has gone to Dorset

Yesterday was Free Comic Book Day. It was awesome. At my local comic shop (aka the stall in the market) Andy Diggle was talking and signing and not only did I get my hands on a copy of pretty much every official free comic book day comic I also got a number of copies of his Adam Strange and The Losers (FOR FREE!). So thank you Andy Diggle and a Happy belated Free Comic Book Day to all.

I am kind of a big deal. Well not really. But for some reason BBC Radio Jersey wanted to ask my opinions on Liberation Day. I talked about freedom and sacrifice and the importance of continuing to celebrate the day with BBQs and other fun things. At one point I was asked what I was up to at the moment, I replied sunbathing. She was asking about university. Anyway, I havn't actually heard the interview but if anyone did, what did you think? My grandparents liked it but then again they like Arsene Wenger so I'm not sure how much their opinion counts.

Lancaster Fried Chicken has arrived... and it's a hell of a lot better than Morecambe Fried Chicken. I sampled the delights last night and I would recommend you pay them a visit. That is unless your a vegetarian. Vegetarians are not allowed to eat fried chicken, so don't even try.

Several of the headline acts for Jersey Live have been announced... The Fratellis, DJ Format, Kasabian, The Enemy, The Rakes and The Alter Kicks included. Much more to come, get a ticket, get involved. Speaking of music my brother has turned me onto an incredible band called Birds of Wales. Download 'The Fine Art of Ballet Dancing' if the lyrics don't make you smile then you don't have a soul.

An exciting week has finished on Hollyoaks. Crazy Will getting his comeuppance, Jermaine Pennant getting laid and Darren agreeing to finance a space rocket. Coming up this week... Gilly develops psychic powers with wacky results, Calvin starts a sanctuary for stray cats and Darren wears some truly ridiculous hats. I'm excited, are you?



Friday, 4 May 2007

With Great Power...

Wow. Just wow. Emo Spider-Man rules.