Sunday, 29 April 2007

He's Got A Killer Body

Zach Braff says it's OK to like Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend!
And if it's OK by Zach then it's OK by me.

And because the Busted version of Year 3000 was too raunchy
Absolutely unbelievable. 'Your great great great grandaughter is doing fine.' Why would you go to the future to check up on someone's great great great grandaughter? You would go to bone her like Busted did. I guess this version does avoid many of the tricky incestual issues raised by the Busted song. Sadly (according to Wikipedia) The Jonas Brothers are without a record label. Anybody want to sign them up?

The Jonas Brothers do not rule. Who does rule?? ROY RULES
If me and Roy did hook up it would be a 24-7 / 69!

Speaking of 24-7 / 69 Machines last night was Dave's birthday and Jenny's birthday celebration. We got our drink on and our gamble on and our dance on. A good night indeed. It even ended in a food fight on the streets of Lancaster. Onion bhajis are good weapons in a food fight as Phil proved.

Today the mighty Cartmel Flames take on Total Football Football Club (aka Cartmel D Team). It may be a friendly but there won't be anything remotely friendly about it. Well, except maybe some friendly banter.

Dave also received Singstar Rocks for his birthday. This house is about to get a whole lot noisier!



Wednesday, 25 April 2007

Lose Yourself

Yo DJ spin that shit.

I'm already feeling a little bit sick in anticipation of tomorrow's game. AAAH.

I am currently watching 8 Mile. I forgot how much I liked this film! Fuck the free world. Also thanks to Andrew Tate I picked up on the Frederick Douglass reference. Knowing is half the (rap) battle.

In American Lit related news I got my first first today. Hurray.

Once again, fuck the free world.



Monday, 23 April 2007

Great Scott

I hear Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams have been cast as the leads in the film version of The Time Traveller's Wife. Rachel McAdams is super fine and if the film stays true to the novel there should be a number of sex scenes. There will also probably lots of nude Eric Bana and unlike the Hulk he won't have purple pants to cover his junk. The film isn't coming out for a while so I think you should read the book. Go on. You can come and see it with me and we can be all like 'it was good but it lacked the emotional sincerity of the novel.' You know you want to. PS - If it looks like I'm crying, I'm not, there's something in my eye.

The fact that I've mentioned Rachel McAdams means I can feel justified in linking to this.
'I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling.'

Also I'm back in Lancaster now so pop round. We can get fucked up on energy drinks and choreograph a dance in honour of the moon gods.



Friday, 20 April 2007

Drugs Kill

Last night Tannas, Matt and I met London's worst MC. I don't really know what he was doing in Liberation Square at 2 in the morning but he proved his ineptitude several times over by not being able to rhyme anything. Literally he would say a line, stall and then make some sort of noise. Eventually we escaped. In related news my credibility took another blow as me and Foxy nailed Blazin Squad - Crossroads on karaoke. I don't know why they needed twelve of them.

Tonight Shane, Tannas and I watched Return Of The Living Dead 5: Rave From The Grave on his super sweet TV. For a movie with no story, special effects, character development and a complete absence of anything even close to logic it was actually kind of entertaining. It also has a very very clear anti-drugs message. If you take drugs you will turn into a zombie and then be destroyed by missiles. Oh and don't worry if you havn't seen the first four, even if you had I don't think you'd completely understand what's going on. I don't even think the people who made it know. (Also look for the fat balding middle aged man in the high school football team)



Wednesday, 18 April 2007

Sunrise, Sunset

I just finished watching a strange but quite amazing movie. Before Sunset, the sequel to Before Sunrise, is basically a film in which two people walk around Paris talking about life, relationships and romance. There's no major plot but it seems incredibly honest. The sort of feelings I think I might have if I was 30.

On the other end of the entertainment spectrum this month's 4-4-2 has an article about professional football slash fiction. The article references a story about David Beckham, Gary Neville and a puppy which when kissed turns into Alan Smith. Gary must then of course have sex with Alan Smith to stop him reverting to puppy form. Here is a nice article which delves into the phenomenon in a little more detail.,4284,1667517,00.html. Apparently Gary and Alan are a rather 'vogueish' couple.



Tuesday, 17 April 2007

And the award for subtlest set dressing goes to...

Just in case you havn't noticed all the man kissing; the people at Hollyoaks have now replaced some of the football posters in Jean Paul's room with a massive Brokeback Mountain poster. Yes that's right, he is gay. Keep up the good work.



Sunday, 15 April 2007

I wandered lonely as a squirrel

I just watched my first episode of 24. I don't really know exactly what was going on but it was brilliant. Everyone seemed to be making decisions and ultimatums, very exciting. I think I liked it because the storytelling was very similar to the comic book style with the cliffhangers and different plots tying into the larger story arc. It very much reminded me of Brubacker's current run on Captain America. Anyway I'm sure Jack Bauer will save us from those dirty spanish terrorists.

The first song off the Spider-Man 3 soundtrack has been released with a video. It's by Snow Patrol and called Signal Fire. The song is great and the video is just incredible. I would like to be a teacher just so I can force kids to recreate it. Check it out

I'm sure if you have studied English at university level you have encountered Wordsworth's 'Daffodils'. Even if you havn't studied English you'll probably know it. Now if you're anything like me, when you heard the poem you said to yourself 'if any poem could do with a re-working by a rapping squirrel then it is this poem.' I think Double W would be really proud.



Page 3 Shocker

There's nothing quite like drinking with your parents. Especially when they're paying and they're on the tequila. Neither of them are in the best shape today.

In related news yesterday my Dad was on page 3 of the Jersey Evening Post. He wasn't going topless (Although he's not a fan of shirts). No it was about him auctioning off his parking space and cycling to work for three months. Yes, that made page 3. Sometimes the island can be a very quiet place.



Saturday, 14 April 2007

Ants! Terrifying yet tiny Ants!

I was having a wonderful dream last night. Well, about as wonderful a dream can get without it being a sex dream. I was playing Pro Evo, I was happy. Then I was woken up by my brother shouting because there were ants in his bed. Stupid ants. Stupid shouting brother.

Also no luck on the grand national. You shouldn't bet on horses because their names sound like camping holidays. Oh well, there's always next year.



Can a house ever give consent?

'This is sort of like a moral decision but not really because no one will ever find out.'

Good episode. I await the rest of the series with anticipation, the credits suggest more Super Hans, Johnson and Nancy coming back. Hurrah.

I also watched History Boys tonight. It was ok, some nice stuff. It's just Alan Bennett's script. I know it's from the stage but it still had a bit too much of a theatrical element to it. The emotional aspect just came across as slightly insincere to me. (I am quite happy with how pretentious that last sentence sounded.)


Thursday, 12 April 2007


Long Island Iced Tea --> Barenaked Ladies - One Week on Karaoke --> 4 Chicago Dollars (Conversion rate of 1 Chicago Dollar = 1 English Pound) --> 2 Tequilas --> Foam Party --> ???
One Week wasn't actually as hard to do as I thought it would be although Barenaked Ladies do make up quite a significant portion of my musical diet. I was also very impressed with the number of times Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend was played last night. It followed us everywhere. Also it seems it is more socially acceptable to like it than I thought.

And this
And this

Jose's t-shirt is not an ironic slogan t-shirt, he was actually soliciting donations on a night out. I wouldn't give him money if I was you. He'll just spend it on tacos or burritos or maybe tequila. Also prizes for anyone who can name the random mandems.

Awesome night.



Wednesday, 11 April 2007

Going Postal

Welcome to the Fortress...

Let's think about movies. There are good movies and bad movies and then there is Uwe Boll.

In the less than stellar field of movies based on computer games he has somehow managed to hit new lows. To be honest I can't think of any good movies based on video games, The Resident Evil films were passable and Mortal Kombat was entertaining (see picture!) but still. Anyway I'm not going to complain about Uwe Boll's past output. There have been petitions to stop him making films. He also had a boxing match against one of his critics. No I'm here to alert people to the next disaster. Uwe Boll is making a film of Postal.

Anyone else remember Postal? We had it a couple of years ago. It was crass and violent but sort of entertaining. It was just about some guy who goes mental and shoots lots of things. It was sort of like how people complain about Grand Theft Auto having never played it imagine it might be except with worse gameplay. Anyway, it isn't really the type of game that calls out for a movie, certainly not one made by Uwe Boll. I mean it doesn't even have a story. Here's the trailer.

It seems as if they are just making the most offensive movie possible. The intro alone mocks the 9/11 plane crashes. All I'm hoping is that the controversy this movie will inevitably stir up doesn't actually help it make money and mean we get more of these terrible movies that are so bad they go beyond so bad they're good and are actually just really bad. Oh and if you want to make a computer game movie someone please make a CGI Mario!

If you want to see a really good movie go and seek out Stranger Than Fiction. A truly original concept beautifully executed with a great cast. What more could you ask for? Oh and if your a student of English Literature you'll probably cream yourself. There's some good borderline pretentious stuff in there.