Thursday, 1 January 2009


What a crazy old year that was huh? Onto a new one now and as is my way I'm going to make some predictions. Last year we didn't do so well with a grand total of 0 out of 10 predictions. I've used crystal balls, tarot cards and complex super computers and this is what WILL happen this year.

1. Beyonce will open a bird sanctuary and call it 'The Birds & The B'. It will be a huge success and be voted the most girlicious bird sanctuary on the planet.

2. After years of perfecting the recipe I will finally unleash my horse shaped (and flavoured) 'Seabiscuits' onto the market. Only a mere 5 years after the release of the film too.

3. The credit crunch will lead to all paper money becoming worthless and people will revert to bartering and trading.

4. An especially charismatic cat will be elected to an important political position.

5. Man will walk on the moon.

6. The Salvation Army will challenge the real Army to a dance-off... and WIN!

7. Eddie Murphy will win all The Oscars.

8. The musical craze of the year will be covers of Lighthouse Family songs. This will reach a stunning climax in December 2009 when a Lighthouse Family tribute band win The X-Factor.

9. Watchmen will be the best film ever and everyone will start reading comics and the world will be all the better for it. I will be given a comics themed television chat show.

10. Machines will enslave the human race having picked up the idea by watching Terminator.

Personally, I can't wait.



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