It's the end of the week and we say goodbye to this celebration of minor characters from American Pie not with a whimper but with a loud bang. Following in the proud foot steps of Glee Club Teacher, Jim's Mom, Kevin's Brother and Blink-182 - it's the man, the myth, the Coach Marshall.
Minor Character 5 - Coach Marshall (Lawrence Pressmann)
I've been looking forward to this one all week. All the characters I have selected have contributed to the franchise in their own way but in terms of my own personal enjoyment of the film no one quite matches up to the Coach. He is iconic without falling into cliche. He is quotable without stealing the scene. In one quote he summarizes everything these films are about,
'I don't want any of you boys thinking, that you're gonna score. You don't score, until you *score*!'
There is something profound in the truth of this statement. Some principle deep beneath the surface that mere mortals like us are unable to quite fathom and express but in our hearts know is in everything we do. Take the journey our central protagonists go on. They think that they're going to score with the literal act of sex but they only truly score when they realise that having sex isn't the important thing here, it's the growing up, the emotional and mental journey toward adulthood.
Also, Lawrence Pressmann has a brilliant name and was in Shaft so I think maybe some kind of lifetime achievement award wouldn't be out of place.
And so it ends - thanks for joining me on this spiritual journey into what I truly believe is a genre defining film. I'd like to thank all the characters mentioned and everyone who helped bring this film to life. So until Minor Character from American Pie Week 2 or Minor Character from American Pie 2 Week I guess all that's left to say is:
'To the next step!'