Friday, 15 October 2010
Sloth of Allegiance
I'm here today to talk to you fine people about a very serious issue that effects us all. A blight not only on our society but on our whole planet. Today I want to talk about Alcoholism In Sloths.
Now certain 'scientists' will tell you that sloths appear lazy because of their slow metabolism and diet of low on nutrition, low on energy leaves. These people are almost certainly quacks and I'd hazard a guess sexual deviants. There is one clear reason why sloths appear slow and lazy (Seriously? Natural Selection? How did these guys make it? I'll take Creationism thank you.) - That reason is there love of a cheeky couple of beers. Don't get me wrong they're not going to get pissed up and start a fight. These creatures just love having a few and getting nicely toasted. The kind of drunk where you might just drift off in front of the telly. You might ask - what's the problem Steve? Sometimes I like a couple of beers and a nap. I'll tell you. Sloths are like this all the time.
Sloths have the potential to be awesome and acrobatic like monkeys. They could contribute to our society by being in the circus or starring in shows. But they don't. Their love of beer saps their motivation and decreases their ability to entertain. They might have a few grand ideas about things they want to do but they're never going to be sober enough to make their dreams a reality. It's a sad situation and only with your help can we round up these gentle souls and get them into rehab. What are you going to do?
Thanks to Sarah for the artwork that inspired today's blog. I think we should print it on a T-Shirt. We're coming up to our 200th Post! Very exciting stuff. Check back here at the weekend for something of a celebration. Once again Londoners keep Thursday free in your diary. Something is happening in Brixton. I'll spill the beans on Monday.