A Buffer Buffy Buffet

Apologies for the lack of updates. I'm temping again (This time selling phones!). This of course means less free time and less free time means less blogging - I really need to get my priorities straight don't you think?

Weird nerd news of the week is that Buffy is being rebooted in a new film not starring Sarah Michelle Gellar and without any involvement from series and character creator Joss Whedon. There has of course been a Buffy movie before but in all honesty that doesn't bare much resemblance to the series that defined the pop culture icon. I think it's all a truly terrible idea.

I'm not against reboots and re-tellings (see my recent Spider-Man related post) especially when they involve a translation to another medium but in this case something smells wrong. Maybe those behind the film underestimate the fans. As a comic fan my loyalty is to the books and the films will always be in comparison to them. Here the comparison is to a very recent television series where the audience will be the hardcore fans of the original. What I'm trying to say is that there will be a whole lot more people pissed off with any misstep and they'll be a lot easier to spot.

Buffy was always going to get remade eventually but I definitely thought it would take longer than 7 years. Maybe Buffy will be hunting the vampires from the Twilight films. This would definitely be the weirdest attempt to cash in on the whole sexy vampire trend.

Here's Whedon's response to the whole thing. It's all very funny and tongue in cheek. I think he'll be too busy smashing the box office with The Avengers to care.

Peace,

Steve

Things I Like Week: Couscous

Things I Like Week: Couscous

I kind of hinted that I was going to drop you one of my legendary recipes this week but really I don't have that many of them so I'm going to give you half of one. To be honest it's not even really a recipe. I just want to say that I really kind of like couscous. You just put it in a bowl and then add boiling water and then put some clear foil over the top - it's that easy! Of course if you want a real kick then you can juice and then grate a Lemon over the top for a bit of a zing. What you don't want to do is just peel the lemon into very large strips and then dump them on top of the couscous. As much as I wanted this to be zesting it's not actually true. Also, if you are going to have couscous you probably want to have it accompany something as couscous alone might be considered kind of dull - unless you're Liam.

The first episode of Peep Show Series 7 is online on 4OD a week ahead of its air date. Head to the site to check it out now! Hopefully I'll have a peek tonight.

That is I'll watch it after I get back from Harry Potter. I'm one of the few who haven't read the books so I'm less sure of what to expect here. I'm basically hoping that even though it's part 1 of 2 the film will have a genuine ending. Not another Pirates of the Caribbean fiasco. The Potter films have been decent enough in general with this kind of thing so I live in hope. If anyone else is going to see it I'd like to suggest it might be quite funny to go up to anyone wearing glasses and say 'nice costume'. They really should have done special 3D Harry Potter glasses. Missed a trick.

Peace,

Steve

Things I Like Week: Ultimate Spider-Man Annual #1

Things I Like Week: Ultimate Spider-Man Annual #1

Non-comics fans please feel free to zone out. This is going to be a post about a comic I like but it will include some musings on the rebooted Spider-Man film so you may want to stick around for that.

So as you may or may not know the Spider-Man movie franchise is being rebooted with a new installment out in 2012 starring Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone. Whilst I'm not hugely keen on rebooting for rebooting sake there is ground for doing so in certain situations (See Batman Begins). With the Sam Raimi Spider-Man trilogy I'm a massive fan of everything that was accomplished (I'll admit it - I even liked Spider-Man 3) but at the same time I feel they were burning through story and characters very quickly. What I like about what I'm hearing from this reboot is that it's taking the character back to high school. Not only did some of Peter Parker's greatest adventures took place when he was just a sixteen year old kid it was also a much better environment for creating drama between Peter and his supporting cast. In the Raimi films it seems Pete is destined to end up with Mary Jane and anyone in the way is just a roadblock that'll eventually be conquered.

Which in a roundabout way brings me to Brian Michael Bendis' comic book high school Spider-Man reboot. This annual (With Art by Brooks & Isanove) delivers not only one of the best representations of teenage super-hero romance but one of the best representations of any kind of romance ever seen in the medium. It's a simple concept but one that is very rarely explored in much detail. Instead of Spider-Man's secret identity putting the life of his girlfriend in peril as a kind of damsel in distress why not give him a girlfriend who is if anything more powerful than he is? That's what Kitty Pryde (Of the X-Men) is. It's one of those things that when someone pitches you the idea it leaves you scratching your head and asking why it hasn't been done before. Of course a good concept is just window dressing if the execution is poor but Bendis perfectly captures the awkwardness and nervousness about putting yourself on the line inherent within any teenage relationship. Credit must also be given to Mark Brooks who was stepping into the shoes of Mark Bagley who at that time had been the only Ultimate Spider-Man artist and to the whole team who played out the Kitty / Pete story further than this annual alone.

Ultimate Spider-Man is still going strong to this day and for my money is still one of the best books on sale. This story is available in the collection of all that year's Ultimate Annuals and can be picked up from Amazon or any other good online retail outlet. (Maybe my Amazon sidebar will start recommending it instead of Susan Boyle?) For more comicy goodness check out Liam or Celeste's blogs (Over there->) and join me tomorrow for a final day of things I like!

Peace,

Steve

Things I Like Week: Blatant Product Placement

Things I Like Week: Blatant Product Placement

I'm not anti-product placement if that's what it takes for great shoes to stay on the air then let Michael Scott use a Mac or Jack Donaghy eat a McFlurry. When done well it can actually be part of a great joke - Burger King sponsoring scandal makers on Arrested Development and then Ron Howard's narration backing up the great taste of BK. When it's done right the product fills a role in the script rather than the script being made to fit the product.

However, I also quite like it when the product placement is done in a horrifically obvious and quite offensive to our intelligence way. Check out this clip from US Soap 'Days of Our Lives' where two characters are far more concerned with the nutritional advantages of Cheerios than anything as silly as the plot.



Thanks to Ken Levine for bringing this to my attention on his excellent screenwriting blog.

Peace,

Steve

Today's Blog Post was brought to you by BLUE THUNDER! The all new energy drink with added BLUECOSE!

Things I Like Week: The American Office

Things I Like Week: The American Office

I've gone into detail in print on why I love The American Office. I think when I wrote this article it was only in like the third series and now it's in the seventh and still going strong. Back then I attributed the show's continued success to the development of the supporting characters. I think I was right. The show is at a stage now where some of the so called minor characters are even more interesting than the main characters. *SPOILER ALERT* Next season Michael Scott (the US equivalent of David Brent played by Steve Carrell if you didn't know) is leaving and I'm pretty confident the show will survive what would in any other case be a concept destroying loss. If Andy and Erin's love story is still going by then I'm sure I'll still be on the hook. I guess the only question is who is going to step up as boss? There's been talk of an 'outside hire' as it were but I'm hoping someone will step-up from within. Jim would be the obvious choice but then again The Office rarely go down that route.

Anyway, Series 5 is now showing on Comedy Central. I'm not going to do the hard sell but if you enjoyed the original there's no way it won't be up your alley. For my mind 30 Rock is the only other show on TV competing for sheer quality and laughs per episode.



Peace,

Steve

Things I Like Week: Aiden's Reaction

So this week I'm going to celebrate a different thing that I like each day. I'm going to mix it up between films, TV, music, etc. Maybe I'll even throw in a recipe. I am renowned for my cooking skills.

Things I Like Week: Aiden's Reaction
Yeah it's Monday and I'm sticking with the X-Factor water cooler bullshit because I feel like Aiden deserves some props. I'm not going to go on about the whole mechanics of the competition and if he deserved to go or not (I quite like him and The Weasel definitely should have been out of there) instead it's his reaction that I enjoyed. He didn't react like a boring brainwashed drone whittling on about how this isn't the last you'll hear of them and how they're still going to keep following their dream. He was understandably gutted to have gotten so far and lost to this annoying interchangeable bore. When Dermot asked him if he was surprised he answered honestly that he'd heard he was in trouble via Twitter. By the by Dermot's whole party line response was quite rude and makes his whole chummy with the acts schtick seem a lot more fake. Finally instead of outlining some Hitleresque plot to dominate the globe he said he was going for a beer. It might not do him any good with the Heat magazine interviews and Xtra Factor bollocks but it left me with a good deal more esteem for the lad. Congratulations Aiden - you got liked.

Peace,

Steve
 

Friday Feeling Feeling of the Week: Fear

Willow Smith - Whip My Hair ( Official Video HD )
Uploaded by tyhansofficiel. - See the latest featured music videos.

This week's Friday Feeling Feeling of the Week is Fear. I fear that Willow Smith's (Daughter of Will and member of the most talented family on Earth) new rap sensation 'Whip My Hair' will become the next big thing that everyone is talking about. I fear that I won't be able to get on the bus or do a dance in the club without someone going and whipping their hair all up in my grill. It's not that I have anything against Willow Smith - if anything she's setting a good example for her Dad and her brother and I don't have anything against the concept of whipping hair. It's just that I fear getting left behind. My hair is very short and it tends to always be quite short. What I'm saying is that I can't really whip my hair. If I try and whip my hair it kind of looks like I'm headbanging. I'm sorry Willow Smith. I wish you all the success in the world. I just don't want to live in a world where my inability to whip my hair makes me a social outcast.

The above horrendous photo is from probably the last time I could whip my hair.

If you'd like to feel some more fear then the second episode of The Walking Dead is on FX tonight at 10. It got off to a superb start last week and as well as the gore and drama it has the lead guy from Teachers doing an American accent. I've already series linked this mofo.

Peace,

Steve

Hey Steve Lawrence, What you doing Flo Rida?

I love Flo Rida. He clearly doesn't care for the conventions of normal society. I have to admit though that I find the beginning of his collaboration with The Saturdays quite confusing.

It's basically Flo asking the girls what they're up to on Saturday (They reply in song). He names each Saturday individually which I think is a really nice touch as to be fair I doubt even The Saturdays know what each member of the band is called. What confuses me is he also names himself as if he's asking himself what he's up to on Saturday along with them. You could suggest he was talking to himself but it doesn't seem likely as The Saturdays are there with him. Maybe he doesn't realise he is actually Flo Rida. Either that or the guy doing the intro isn't Flo Rida but is actually his evil twin Ala Bama.

Good episode of The Apprentice last night - the marketing tasks never fail to disappoint. How do they always mess it up so horrifically? Would anyone in their right mind make a household cleaner in red and black. It looked like poison. The adverts were also pretty horrendous but that's standard. Kudos to Sugar Daddy for some of his lines in the boardroom.
'You were all over this like a tramp on chips.'
I would love to be Alan Sugar's personal scriptwriter.

Peace,

Steve

The Shocking Not Quite Return of Metro Man

This morning I was writing about the new DreamWorks Animation super-villain comedy Megamind for my monthly film preview column for Gallery. I was getting the usual details - director, writers, stars (This thing has a hell of a cast) and plot synopsis. I was making my notes when I came across a character name that seemed oddly familiar. Megamind's hero nemesis is called Metro-Man. Now I knew I'd heard this somewhere before and despite my encyclopedic knowledge of Marvel and DC Comics I'm pretty sure it wasn't in any comic book. Then it dawned on me. Metro-Man was the super-hero created by male beauty Sam in the 'Create Your Own Super-Hero Character' challenge during Season 3 of the ultimate social experiment Beauty & The Geek. I'm not going to suggest Megamind ripped off the genius of club promoter Sam as their character's power isn't I presume breakdancing and George Hamilton's tanning spray but it's a weird coincidence.



It's nice to see that Sam is still acting. Amazingly enough he was in Little Giants and Boy Meets World.

Peace,

Steve

Making It Up As They Go Along

Good actors, never use the script unless it’s amazing writing. All the good actors I’ve worked with, they all say whatever they want to say.

Jessica Alba has been attributed with the above highly confusing quote. I hope she was misquoted or taken severely out of context because otherwise this is a seriously bizarre comment to make. John August (A successful screenwriter) takes her to task here. But as a wannabe screenwriter I think I also need to put this out there and maybe add a few points to John's take.

- Sin City. A great movie and one of the most faithful graphic novel to screen adaptations of all time. Was it a coincidence that the dialogue she was making up (presuming she classes herself as a good actor) was in some cases exactly the same as that in the graphic novel?

- What's the point of being an actor who also writes (Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, David Cross). Wouldn't it be better to just work at becoming a good actor so that you can just make-up your dialogue on the spot instead of waste time with a script? Maybe they get two pay cheques.

I don't know. It's all highly confusing. I really hope Jalba was taken out of context. Mostly because my girlfriend loves her. If she's right and this really is how Hollywood works then SERIOUSLY Jessica - what the fuck were you up to in The Love Guru?

Peace,

Steve

For Fawkes Sake

In my first thirty minutes of being awake this morning I'd heard 'Fireworks' by Katy Perry three times. I'm not complaining, I find Miss Perry and her pop stylings quite delightful. I think I had to hear the song played another three times before I realised exactly why I was hearing it so much today. Congratulations to Katy's Marketing team for creating what I imagine to be the first intentional Bonfire night anthem. Look next year for my song 'Boom! Boom! Bang! Bang! Ooooooh! Aaaaaah!'

Peace,

Steve

A-Ha and Welcome Back!

Hello again friends. Sorry for the lack of blogging this week. I've had a few other pressing things come up and press me to do them. So Blatantly the big news of the day is that A-HA Partridge is back!



It is sponsored by Fosters but that hasn't seemed to have changed the output at all. In fact in this day and age I think it makes sense for Alan to have regressed to such a level that he'd only be available on digital radio or on the internet. Hopefully, Lynn or Michael might pop their heads in either that or this could provide a launch pad to a new series. With 'The Trip' starting last Monday on BBC2 it seems there will be lots of Steve Coogan goodness for the weeks to come. This is opposed to roles in questionable films that don't make the most of his undoubted talent.

Speaking of new series Red Dwarf has been commissioned for a new one. To be honest I found the recent Dave specials quite lacking in the kind of bite the old series had but hopefully giving them the luxury of a full series will allow the show to go back to basics.

I'm trying to Tweet more once again. Twit away at me on steveolawrence.

Finally, I have a new follower. Let's all join hands and welcome The Flamingo of Oppression (Great name!) to the fold. Have a good weekend everyone and if you're going to a bonfire please try not to put your face too close to the glowy red stuff.

Peace,

Steve

Saw It

WARNING: Major Saw 3D Spoilers follow. Don't read if you're going to see it. Either that or read and then don't bother going to see it!

So I ended up going to see Saw 3D on Monday night. The 7th (Not 14th as Jose Franco thought) and hopefully last in the Saw franchise. I can't really recommend it. There's plenty of gore and a very inventive trap at the used car yard (featuring the lead singer of Linkin Park confusingly enough) but by way of story there's pretty much nothing. I didn't find the plotting as dense as the concurrent Saw 3 and 4 but it's still needlessly confusing. For me it all went wrong when they lost Jigsaw (Yes I know he was in the sequels in flashbacks but he isn't the guiding force). Hoffman just isn't as interesting a villain. The whole 'testing' aspect of it goes out the window and it all becomes just sadistic punishment and revenge. Plus when the bad guys are so infinitely superior to the good guys you know there's basically zero chance of them escaping the traps and in that pretty much any kind of tension is lost. The final third of the film just goes completely off the rails as Hoffman goes on a stabbing spree like some kind of cheap Michael Myers (Which after Halloween H20 is difficult to do). It all finishes with a twist that would have been welcome about six films ago.

There are a few good points. The character of Officer Gibson gives us someone we can genuinely root for (I enjoyed his manic repetition) though he is dispatched with quickly and in a fairly lame fashion. There also seem to be a few decent ideas in the story that just aren't developed enough. For once the opening trap takes place in view of the general public rather than in a dingy hospital / warehouse. I thought that by following this through there could have been an interesting through line on the public perception of gore these days. After 7 Saw films have we lost our disgust at the violence and become at best desensitized slack jawed gawkers and at worst willing participants? I also think more could have been made of the (genuine) Jigsaw survivor groups. Given this is the last chapter this would have provided more of a satisfying final judgement of Jigsaw's legacy.

I eagerly anticipate the forthcoming Scream 4 and hope it will consider the legacy of these films. Maybe sending us on a path to gore combined with characters and story rather than blood for blood's sake.

New issue of Gallery is out featuring Due Date, Movies 4 Men and the Jersey Amnesty International Film Festival. Check it out.

Peace,

Steve

200th Post Spectacular!

200 posts! Congratulations everybody. It has been a long tough struggle to get here but we did it. We've outlasted governments, seen the economy go to shit and even witnessed Josh Franco acting. And we're not stopping yet. We might have changed our focus and experimented in different things (podcasting, short films, hard drugs) but the fact remains that we still love you and we're always going to be here for you. As we enter out third century I ask - what would you like to see from this blog going forward? Competitions, Boobs, Pop-Up ads? Drop me a line and let me know. 

Normally when I hit a big milestone like this I like to look back and today isn't going to be any different. But I'm not just going to look back at past moments of Steveitude greatness. I'm going way back like Marty McFly. What you may not realise is that before 'The Fortress of Steveitude' came the MSN Space known as Steve's Zone of Love. The first post on that dropped on the 15th of June 2005 meaning I've been blogging for over 5 years now (Laugh or cry?)! To celebrate my 200th post here - Here's that very first blog post in its entirety...


The Bloggingest Blog Around

Today my mood ring is Yellow..

That's right Steve has his own Blog and yes it's going to be the bloggingest blog around. You'll see me in the street and be like 'Hey Steve! Wanna go and get some ice cream?' and I'll be all like 'Sorry dude/tte but I gotta go home and blog, maybe some other time.' Thats how committed I am to this thing. I mean everyone knows I like a good ice cream. In my blog I'm going to do so much too, I'm going to give advice, write stories, give celebrity gossip and review all sorts of stuff. Basically I'm going to make everyone who reads it a better person.

I'll start right now, Hey reader go and download 'Papa Roach - Scars'! People are saying they're the new Good Charlotte. Celebrated rap superstar Nelly says they are 'Hot in Here'. Also commenting on last nights episode of the OC, nice job on the almost Rape. As most people will tell you my favourite things are platonic love, real life situations and rape. I already loved the OC before this because it reminds me of real life situations and this is just the icing on the cake. More please!

Keep on Bloggateering. Vote Pedro.

So how does it hold up? Surprisingly well I'd say. I'm still committed to delivering the bloggingest blog around and on many occasions I have been forced to turn down a trip to the ice cream parlour because of an intention to blog. Obviously I'm still a massive fan of Papa Roach and in particular the song 'Scars'. It was obvious even in 2005 that they were going to become the world's biggest rock-band. Sadly, The OC is no longer with us but I think it's been long enough now for them to attempt a remake. It worked with 90210. 

Anyway dear friends. I hope you enjoyed coming with me on this gentle stroll down memory lane. Please sit tight for the next great adventure. 

Peace,

Steve