Resist

Eddie Argos of Art Brut fame has recently launched a side project called Spoiler Alert where he and his band write and perform songs about DC Comics heroes. As you might imagine this is right up my alley. In researching this I came across his other side project Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now. In a stroke of genius they offer responses to pop songs of the past. The above video is my favourite and is a response to the psycho stalker Avril Lavigne anthem 'Girlfriend'. Enjoy.

Peace,

Steve

Igneous Cat Toilet

If there's one thing that is sure to bring joy to the heart it's the image of a cat drinking from the toilet. Nic didn't believe me when I told her he did this but we can see here who was proven correct (NOTE: The answer is me.)

Is a cat drinking out the toilet the type of thing you're likely to see in the first issue of 'IGNEOUS Magazine' launching this October? I'm not sure. You best join the group HERE so you can be the first to know the definitive answer.

In case you're confused by this collection of sentences I will be contributing to the first issue of the magazine put together by the luscious Mr. Elliott White and the alliterative Professor. James Jackson. Have no fear Gallery fans I'm still there too, this is just some extra fun stuff.

Peace,

Steve

Back... Again!

Why?

Alright stop, collaborate and listen...

Hello Steveitude fans. It's been a long time but we've dusted off the old typing pad and we have returned to provide you with your daily (probably not), weekly (there's a chance), monthly (unless I get really slack) dose of Steveitude. Where have I been all this time? Find out here. But don't bother yet. Keep reading! 

As you may have noticed we've spruced things up a little bit since last time you popped your cute little faces in. There's a snazzy new background, a reduced blog list consisting solely of people I actually know (If you have a blog and I know you then please get in touch and you could see your name on the side of my page!), a search bar and even ads for Amazon products that supposedly are relevant to my site. Click through them and order many things so that I receive gift cards galore. 

Anyway, we're back, we mean business and we have plenty of exciting stuff coming up here over the next couple of months. Music, movies and other things that are good. So stick around, check back often and become a follower. 

What does the picture at the top of this post mean??? You'll find out.... Soon enough. 

Peace,

Steve

See You Latte

Hey Kids

As most of you probably know Nic and I are heading off on our travels tomorrow. That means I won't have much time to catch up on this blog. What's new you may ask in a sarcastic tone? Fuck You, I've been really busy. The Jersey Summer was an absolute blast especially the last couple of weeks where our visitors popped by and of course Jersey Live took place. Any other Jersey-ites I would recommend having some foreigners over if you're ever feeling burnt out on Jersey life. Looking at it through their eyes it forces you to realise that despite the negativity of a few loud mouthed grade-A wank stains (I'm looking at you Senator Stuart Syvret. What you gonna do? I'm the other side of the world... Or at least I will be soon) it's actually a pretty fucking cool place to live. Basically I'm going to miss you guys... except you Sam Tannahill.

But whilst this may be a goodbye it actually means you're going to get more bloggage than usual just in a different place (Think of it as IVF blogging rather than the balls deep penetrative sex blogging your used to - the same basic thing in a different way). And after that elaborate and confusing sentence I think you should probably just go there and bookmark it yourself:

http://steveandnickistravels.blogspot.com

It already has a lovely pretentious Mark Twain quote so enjoy that and soon it'll have details of all our crazy adventures.

Peace

Steve

PS - New Gallery is out. The column continues. It'll be in October too but in a reduced form. Maybe November? We'll see.

Jiggy Jiggy Jiggy

It's another month and another new issue of Gallery. Check it out as always here. This month I totally have a boner for the new Tarantino flick and present my ultimate movie playlist. Of course it features Wild Wild West by Sir Will Smith a song that is by some margin more entertaining than the film it was 'inspired' by. It got me thinking. Obviously Will Smith is the greatest actor of his generation but few remember he is also the greatest musician of his generation too. In the past couple of years he has dialed back the music greatness refusing to soundtrack the films he headlines. Think how much better Ali, I Am Legend or Seven Pounds could have been if Will got jiggy with them. How about it Big Willy? We could even release Director's Cuts with the music in. Hit me back.

Peace

Steve

Stoop Kids

Move it football head!

Today we had a reminisce about the classic TV shows from our youth and how the current crop could never stand shoulder to shoulder with the likes of Teen Angel, Hangtime and Kenan & Kel. One of the shows we talked about was Hey Arnold. An incredible show and looking back quite a weird and subversive one too. What was with all the jazz? Anyway, whilst discussing Arnold, Gerald and Helga I had quite a sobering thought. Arnold was set in a tough Brooklyn neighbourhood with poor schooling and a decaying infrastructure. Statistics would suggest that a large percentage of these kids have fallen into crime or drugs (Definitely the bully character) and many of them are probably part of gangs. I guess what I'm pitching here is a Wire-esque 'Where Are They Now' show dealing with the realities of inner city life. I would watch it.

Peace

Steve

Deadly Man

So by some weird twist of fate last night I ended up watching the second half of an episode of Danny Dyer's Deadliest Men 2. It wasn't really what I was expecting it to be. As is his way, Danny went to live with a man called Steve in Blackpool who is apparently Britain's hardest bouncer. So far, so derivative right? As part of the show Danny agreed to spend a night on the door with Steve. This is where things started to get really fucking strange.

Steve has had to chuck out some 'tough slags' in his time and he has even encountered a few death threats. A little scary but nothing to put off cockney gangster Danny Dyer. Or at least that is what you'd think. Dyer completely freaks out. He constructs a weird disguise by dying his hair blonde, putting on glasses and then dressing as a bouncer. He then decides he feels too much of a tosser and takes off the glasses and puts on a hat. At this point he is Danny Dyer wearing a hat which is not so great as a disguise (The fact he is being followed by a TV crew is also a bit of a giveaway). Dyer then eventually ditches his crew and manages for a while to go unnoticed. This is hilarious as he hears numerous people slag off both him and his films and throws a bit of a hissy (To be fair his films are by and large garbage. I like Severance though).

Anyway, after whining and crying and generally acting like a complete psycho Dyer eventually makes it to the door. Here he acts suspiciously towards everyone who comes into the club. He thinks they're all carrying knifes and all are out to get him. A group of lads see through his clever hat disguise and ask to have their photo taken with him. Danny acts like they've surrounded him with assault rifles and drawn lots to see who gets to rape him first.

Basically I'm worried about Danny. He can't seem to differentiate between real life and the tough gangster world of every movie he's ever been in. Yes we live in a dangerous world but every single person on the planet isn't out to get you. Guy Ritchie? Vinnie Jones? Whoever his friends are need to sit him down and get him to sort his head out before Danny Dyer goes completely off the deep end and becomes one of the deadly men he has dedicated his life to studying.

Know what I mean?

Peace

Steve