Wednesday, 26 December 2007
For The Kids
Many people have claimed modern Video Games inspire violence, social deviancy and bad body odor. Obviously most of these people are complete knobtards but that isn't going to stop them campaigning for the banning of these games. I think I have a solution...
Steve-Co presents... WII Doin Time
Yes, that's right kids! The first video game replicating exactly what it is like to be imprisoned in a modern day correctional facility. Choose your difficulty level from Petty Thief, Drug Trafficker or Terrorist with a penchant for Rape and Murder and embark on your stint in the big house. Using the power of the Wii you will have to (amongst other things)
-Win over your cell mate by wanking them off
-Knife potential rivals during recreation time in the prison yard
-Wank off fellow prisoners in the shower to get them on your team (Don't drop the soap!)
-Inject heroin your sweetheart smuggled in for you.
Will you become 'The Don' or will you end up in solitary confinement??
It'll be brilliant. There could be a celebrity endorsement. Like John Madden or Wayne Gretzky but, you know, someone who has done time. Maybe Kiefer Sutherland. He has street cred. I mean he's fucking Jack Bauer! I would play that game.
What sort of Kid is going to go want to turn to a life of crime after wanking off a bunch of virtual psychos for hours on end? I'll tell you, the sort of kid who is going to be fucked up whether they play video games or not. Plus all these potential murderers are going to end up with frail wrists so that's good too.