Monday, 31 December 2007

Search For The Hero

Happy New Year's Eve Readers. In every paper, on every TV channel and on every website there are reviews of the year being presented and you know what most of them are REALLY REALLY negative. 2007 wasn't that bad was it? So England failed in some sporting events... What's new? Sure there was some bad stuff happening and some shite on Television, but there is every year. I don't give a fuck if Britney shaved her head or Paris Hilton went to prison. All in all these things do very little to effect me.

Instead I want to celebrate what was good about 2007. Let us celebrate the heroes:

Optimus Prime
Judd Apatow (Writer-Director of Knocked Up and Producer of Superbad)
Michael Cera (Clark & Michael, Arrested Development, Superbad)
The Mighty Boosh
Fernando Torres

Ryan Jarman (The Cribs)

Hiro Nakamura

Sarah Silverman

The Barenaked Ladies

Flight of the Conchords

R. Kelly

The list could go on and on and in each case I could write an entry on each person but frankly I don't have the time. Instead I am going to select a single hero. One man who has stood above others and shone like some sort of shining star. Ladies and Gentleman, join me in saluting....


OK, Akon did some bad things in 2007.
He did sort of assault a fan on stage. (BOOM TOWN!)

And he did simulate sex with a 15 year old Minister's daughter on stage in a club.
Some might even suggest his music is a bit shit.
BUT.... He apologised. Yes, Akon said 'Sorry, blame it on me.'

Through the medium of song Akon did what so few celebrities have ever had the guts to do. He made a heartfelt apology. The song starts...

As life goes on I’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me So I want to take this time out to apologize for things I have done And things that have not occurred yet And the things they don’t want to take responsibility for

Akon's trials and tribulations have taught him shit. He not only apologises for things he has done but also for things that havn't occurred yet. Yeah there are a few excuses...

I’m sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around How was I to know she was underage In a 21 and older club they say

He is right though. Yes graphically simulating sex on stage was probably a bad idea but it is sort of the club's fault too. And the media, yeah media, TAKE SOME BLAME TOO YOU BUNCH OF BASTARDS! Furthermore, he apologises for things other people have done! Akon positions himself as a sort of Hip Hop Messiah. Next time you do something wrong, put the blame on Akon, he can take it. He sang for our sins and we should be thankful. (Though R. Kelly if you're reading this I don't think trying to put the blame on Akon in your court case will work)

In years to come Akon's sacrifice will be recognised. Just remember where you read about it first.




PS - 50th Post!

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